


First Comes Love

by StarvingLunatic



Category: Mai-HiME
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Communication, Drama, Established Relationship, F/F, Futanari, G!P, Lesbian Character, Oral Sex, Romance, Sexual Content, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-01 05:11:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13287702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarvingLunatic/pseuds/StarvingLunatic
Summary: Natsuki and Shizuru have been in a relationship for a long time. Unfortunately, Natsuki has the bad habit of breaking up with Shizuru often. Shizuru has had enough of it.





	1. Break Up to Make Up

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
> A/N: this was a request from [Yukiheart19](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4573044/). I’m not usually good with requests, but this idea came to me right after the request was made, so here we go. And, as always, for updates on this story or just come say hi to me on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/pages/SL-Kassidy/482097488469386).
> 
> Public Service Announcement: There is futa/g!p and quite a bit of sex in this story. If that’s not your thing, then you might want to skip this one. 

First Comes Love 

1: Break Up to Make Up

Dinner went over well, as it typically did when Shizuru and Natsuki spent time with Shizuru’s parents at their home. Shizuru and her father retired to the den to have tea and discuss whatever topics might come to mind. Natsuki made herself scarce, as tea still was not her thing after so many years with Shizuru, not as just a lover, but as a friend. Shizuru was not sure what she might have to do to change Natsuki’s outlook on her favorite beverage. Of course, there were so many other things she would like to change that tea was near the bottom of the list.

 _No, don’t think like that_. She was happy to have Natsuki and she would not change that for the world. So, she put it out of her mind as she sat across her father in the den. He smiled at her.

“How is it every time I manage to feed Natsuki, she then manages to slip away when it’s time to enjoy tea together?” Shizuru’s father asked with a wink as they both settled at the low table in the den.

Shizuru smiled. Her father pondered the same things every time they spent time together. It was a form of teasing, toward her, and Natsuki should she ever take up the hobby of eavesdropping. But, since Natsuki usually spent tea time in front of the television, killing mutants or zombies or mutant zombies or something. Video games. Natsuki was all about her video games, which Shizuru did not begrudge her. Natsuki needed something to relax her, even though she liked screaming about how people were cheating when she played.

“Otou-san, we both know Natsuki will never sit down and have tea time with us,” Shizuru replied, watching the steam rise from her cup.

Her father sighed, his broad shoulders slumping around his t-shirt. “It is such a pity. I always thought we did our best father-daughter bonding over tea. How ever shall I bond with Natsuki?” A familiar lament.

Shizuru chuckled. “All is lost, unless you take up the hobby of shooting zombies.” Her father had tried. He was rubbish at it. Of course, she was not much better, but Natsuki always encouraged her.

With a frown, her father shook his head and put his cup down before he slipped tea all over himself. “No, no, no. Any daughter of mine must enjoy tea and my company.”

“Then, I suppose Natsuki will never be your daughter.” Shizuru snickered. Natsuki’s relationship with her father reminded her much of her relationship with Natsuki. Natsuki was typically annoyed with her father and grumpy in his presence, but she never turned down a chance to be in his presence… except for teatime. Maybe their teatime was Natsuki’s “me time.” Surely, she needed a chance to recover or at least reapply her cantankerous persona.

Her father laughed, full of life and delight, as was his way. His eyes sparkled. “Natsuki will always be my daughter. I still wait with baited breath for you to make it official.” He was so dramatic. “When are you planning to marry Natsuki? Surely, she will take the name Fujino. Yes?”

Shizuru sipped her tea to give herself time to formulate an answer. She would probably never have the courage to ask Natsuki to marry her. She feared the answer. At least for now, she had Natsuki.

“I thought by now I would have a grandchild or two with you,” her father continued. The light in his eyes was gone. He was serious.

Shizuru sighed. “Otou-san.” She did not want to talk about this, did not want to think about it. No, her life was not the way her parents wanted, not even the way she wanted, but this was so much better than the alternative. She refused to live with the alternative.

He pouted. “Can you blame an old man for wanting grandchildren?”

“Where is Okaa-san to stop you from these ramblings?” Shizuru rolled her eyes dramatically and grinned, not wanting to hurt her father’s feelings. Her mother was off, on a business trip in the States. She and Natsuki had dinner with her father every night to make sure he was not lonely, but he was always lonely without her mother, mostly because her mother would entertain him. In that sense, she was like her father and Natsuki was like her mother. Too bad the similarities ended there.

“Why is it rambling to want to have a family? To want you and your beloved to have a family? To want Natsuki to be my rebellious daughter?” He laughed before finally taking a sip of his tea.

She had to laugh, too. “You have a rebellious daughter. Have I not been enough of a rebel for you?” Yes, she was prim and proper to the rest of the world, but her parents knew the truth.

A teasing smile settled on his face and he hid it behind his cup. “You a rebel? You are the perfect mix of me and your mother. I doubt there is another child on Earth who is a perfect half of both parents.”

She smirked at him, feeling her cheekbones on full display. “You, dear father, are merely looking to compliment yourself.”

“I don’t have to. A compliment to me is always sitting right across from me.” He smirked right back, shoulders squared.

Shizuru sipped her tea again. When she was with her father, she could understand how Natsuki felt when she complimented Natsuki. Her father chuckled, so she suspected she was blushing. What she did not understand was how Natsuki could not love the back and forth, playfulness of it all.

“I only want what’s best for you, Shizuru. You and Natsuki are so happy. You should be married. Have children. I have no problems with being a young grandfather.” He slapped his hands to his knees and grinned.

Shizuru rolled her eyes again. “We are happy as we are.” They were the best and she would not do anything to jeopardize it. She would not lose Natsuki again.

“Well, yes, but eventually, you have to get married and there must be grandchildren. Let’s talk romance. Your mother proposed to me on a vacation in Hawaii.”

“I know, Otou-san. Then, her parents wept a new sea at her poor decisions.” It was almost a true story. Her mother’s parents disapproved of her father in ways her parents never had of Natsuki. In fact, her parents had only been supportive of her relationship with Natsuki, to the point that it still frightened Natsuki, years later.

He chuckled. “Oh, they cursed my name until you were born. Then, all was forgiven.”

Shizuru put on her best pixie smile. “I do have that power.”

“Indeed, you do. I’ve seen this power, which is how you are both me and your mother.”

Shizuru smiled and shook her head. Her father was all sweet talk and silver tongue. She had learned the skill from him or maybe inherited it naturally. She could never be sure, having done it since she could speak as far as she knew. Sometimes, her parents made it seem she charmed people from birth. Sometimes, it was just her personality and sometimes it was through a conscious choice. She understood she used to abuse this power and she tried not to do so anymore, except when she was at work anyway. Business required her talent.

“But, you should get married. It’s time, surely,” her father said, clasping his hands together as if that made it final.

Shizuru sighed. While she entertained her father, this line of discussion was not fun for her. Natsuki was not interested in marriage or children. She was lucky Natsuki wanted to be with someone like her. She was wise to be happy with what they had.

“Otou-san, you should have gone with Okaa-san. You enjoy the States,” Shizuru said. She would have been able to avoid this torture if he had gone with her mother. It was not like it was unheard of for them to attend each other’s business trips.

“I do, but I know if I stay behind you and Natsuki will visit every day.” He drank his tea and all but danced in his seat.

Shizuru could not deny him that. They did not come by everyday each time he was left by himself, but they visited more often when they knew he was alone. After tea, they went to sit with Natsuki, but found the living room empty, the television off and the game system gone. Shizuru was not shaken. Natsuki was snacker, so she might have gone for a snack. But, she was not in the kitchen. She had not gone to the bathroom. Shizuru glanced outside and her heart dropped. Natsuki’s motorcycle was gone. Natsuki left. Natsuki left her.

“Otou-san, I have to go!” Shizuru rushed for the door as her heart dropped into her feet. Of all the times Natsuki could eavesdrop, it had to be when her father wanted to discuss marriage.

Shizuru did not stick around for her father’s response. While searching the property and trying not to throw up as her stomach twisted and turned, she called for a taxi. Natsuki was definitely gone. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

“Not again.” Shizuru was not sure how much of this her heart could take in a lifetime. There were too many scars from this that had not healed yet. “No, not again.” She took a deep breath, steeling herself. She would not be sick and she would not stand for this. Not again. Never again.

-8-8-8-8-

Shizuru knocked on the apartment door. It was their apartment, but Natsuki’s in the beginning. It had never quite felt like home for Shizuru, but Natsuki allowed her into her sanctuary. For Shizuru, that was beyond home, even if it did not fit her quite right, like a fashion choice she would never make. And, no answer meant she was shut out of Natsuki’s world and she feared using her key. Entering Natsuki’s sanctuary without permission, she knew what that could lead to. _But, you have permission. You have a key. You live here_.

 _Do you, though?_ Shizuru shook that thought away. She was tired of doubt, tired of walking on eggshells. She was tired of scraps and settling. Natsuki was enough, but that meant she needed Natsuki. If she did not fight for Natsuki, then she would not have the one thing she required.

“No, not again,” Shizuru said and put her key in the door. “Not again, Natsuki!” The apartment was dark, almost depressing.

Natsuki jumped up from the sofa, throwing away a pillow she cuddled. “Shizuru!”

“I will not let you do this again, Natsuki!” Shizuru could not stop the tears stinging her eyes. “I cannot let you do this again!” She slammed the door behind her.

“Shizuru, you know things are better this way,” Natsuki said. Her lip trembled as she stood a few short feet from Shizuru, but neither of them dared move closer. It almost felt like if they moved closer, they could tear apart the fabric of the universe. It was already tearing apart the fabric of Shizuru’s heart.

 _How can she even say that?_ “No, things are never better this way. Why do you keep doing this to us?” Shizuru pressed her hands together and sniffled.

“Because you deserve better, damn it! You deserve more than me and hearing you and your father talking about us getting married and having kids proved that. You shouldn’t be stuck with me!” Natsuki used both hands to slap herself on the chest. “You deserve the best!”

“You are the best!” Shizuru sobbed. Why did Natsuki still not know that? No one could ever or would ever match Natsuki. “No one will ever be what you are to me. No one will ever mean to me what you mean to me. No one will ever love me as you do.” She thought she showed this. She tried to show this, but she failed. She was always a failure when it came to Natsuki. _No, never again_.

Natsuki shook her head and sniffed as her eyes focused on a spot on the wall. “Tons of people will love you better than I ever could. What do I know about love, Shizuru? The only love I’ve ever known died when I was a kid and I’ve never been able to properly function as a fucking human being and you think I could love you the right way? I’m setting you free. You don’t have to burdened with me ever again.”

Underneath the hurt and pain, there lived a burning anger in Shizuru. Had she not treated Natsuki as if she were precious for so many years? Why was Natsuki still so certain she could be easily forgotten, easily thrown away? _Perhaps because some part of her is still scared of you_. That thought doused her fiery.

Shizuru took a deep breath, wanting to stay under control as best she could. It did not stop her tears. “You are not a burden and you never have been. I cannot go through this again, Natsuki. I cannot let you go, not again.” She would not survive.

Natsuki stepped forward and grabbed Shizuru’s trembling hands, holding them in her own. “You’re not letting me go. I’m freeing you, like before.”

Shizuru shook her head. “This is not free. It’s never free. We’ve done this too many times and I know. It’s heartbreak and anguish. It’s pain and suffering. It’s death. This will kill me.” It had killed her so many times before, but this time she would not recover if she could not stop it.

Natsuki smiled, but her eyes were shattered and dull. “Shizuru, you’ll find someone better.”

“You don’t think I’ve looked?” Shizuru screamed. What the hell did Natsuki think she did with her “free” time? “You don’t think I haven’t tried in the five times you’ve ‘set me free’? You always think running from me is better, but it never is. It’s never easy.” She wanted to give Natsuki space, she wanted to find happiness, and she wanted so many things, but in the end, if there was no Natsuki, there was nothing. There was a void and she tried so hard to fill the void, learn to live without Natsuki. It was impossible.

Natsuki licked her lips and her mouth quivered before the words managed to come out. “You’ve… you’ve… you’ve been with other girls?”

Shizuru pulled a hand away to wipe her tears. “Wasn’t that your wish? The first time you set me free?” A cruel freedom to be sure, but she tried to live as Natsuki wanted. All it did was prove Natsuki was made for her.

“The first time…” Natsuki took a deep breath, but her lip still trembled and her hands shook at her sides. “It was for the best. You were with that college girl and you were so happy.” She wiped at tears that did not fall. “Every time she called, your face lit up and you spoke for hours about things I hadn’t even heard of. She was so much more sophisticated than I could ever be. I had only just barely graduated high school. You deserved her.”

Shizuru scowled. “You mean Kina?” Yes, Kina had been a wonderful friend. They clicked in ways Shizuru did not with others, but that did not mean Kina wanted her or that she wanted Kina.

“Yeah. You always wanted to go places with her and do stuff with her. You guys were practically a couple already and she was good for you, better than I could ever be,” Natsuki said.

Shizuru wanted to tear her hair out. Instead, she stomped her foot, which felt more mature somehow. “I didn’t want her! I wanted you. I _want_ you. She was a friend, just a friend. You see she isn’t around anymore.” Life got in the way of many of her relationships and friendships seemed to run their course with her. Did Natsuki not notice or had she willfully ignored it? “I don’t want someone else, Natsuki. Why don’t you understand that? I’ve tried this and you’re actually the only one who does want me.” It sounded bad, but it was the truth. Natsuki was the only one who wanted her, but it worked out. Natsuki was the only one she wanted.

Natsuki blinked and stepped back as if she had been assaulted. “Excuse me?”

Shizuru took a breath. She did not want this to come out wrong, as an accusation, or even as her settling for Natsuki. Natsuki was not a consolation prize. “As I said, I was with other girls. I know you wanted me to find someone better and there were times when I tried to find someone compatible with me or someone to ease the loneliness of your absence. None of them were you on so many levels, but on a basic human level, it was worse. Do you know how often they called me a freak? Do you know how many women have told me to never call them again because of who I am?” She stepped away and made tight fists. Her nose ran, her face was hot, and she knew she looked a mess, but she did not care. She could not do this again, so she needed Natsuki to see all her hurt, anguish, and suffering. Natsuki needed to see her scars.

“Shizuru…” Natsuki pulled her back, took her in loving embrace, and held her. She rubbed Shizuru’s back, which only made Shizuru cry more.

“No one is like Natsuki. No one will ever accept me like Natsuki and I will never love anyone as much as I love Natsuki, as I have always loved Natsuki,” Shizuru said, clutching onto Natsuki. She would never let this woman go, no matter how Natsuki tried to drop her like so much dead weight.

Natsuki rocked her back and forth. “That’s not true, Shizuru. You’re so amazing and I don’t get why you waste your time on me. You’re smart, beautiful, successful, and charming. I’m, like, the exact opposite. People love you and I hate people.”

“I love you!” Shizuru pulled away to stare Natsuki in the eye. “I love you so much and you keep trying to run from me.”

Natsuki sniffled as she cupped Shizuru’s face with one hand. She wiped away one of Shizuru’s tears. “I’m not trying to run. I really want the best for you, Shizuru, because I love you so much. You’ve grown on me and it makes me want the best for you. I just… I never feel like I’m the best.”

That was sweet and tragic at the same time. Shizuru felt like it was her fault, but she did not know what else she could do to show Natsuki how much she appreciated her. She did her best to let the relationship move at Natsuki’s pace. She did every little thing Natsuki wanted and she was never short on praise for her beloved because Natsuki was truly amazing.

“Natsuki, my love, you are the best for me. How can you not see that? When you look at me, you see Shizuru. No other girl looks at me that way once they’re with me. They just see the snake,” Shizuru said and she meant that on so many levels. She was the snake on every level.

“No, no, no.” Natsuki shook her head and caressed Shizuru’s face with her thumb. “You’re not a snake and you’re more than that. I don’t know what’s wrong with people. People are so stupid.”

“You don’t want me either.” Maybe that was why Natsuki broke up with her five times, trying right now for the sixth. She always chalked it up to Natsuki’s insecurity, but maybe Natsuki had really been trying to get rid of her, like every other girl she dated. The only trouble was she kept going back to Natsuki and Natsuki was too polite to simply break it off properly.

Natsuki’s face scrunched up. “You’re kidding, right? Shizuru, I love you. I love you so much.”

Shizuru shook her head and began sobbing even more as realization assaulted her worse than any hime’s CHILD could. “No, you don’t. You just take me back each time because you pity me. I’m sorry, Natsuki. I’ve been pestering you to take me back all these years and you’ve just been trying to get away from me. I’m so sorry.” Wiping her eyes, she turned, needing to get out of here. Ten years… ten years she had been tormenting Natsuki with her affections. That did not even count before they were romantically involved. She definitely was the snake.

“Shizuru, no!” Natsuki was on her by the time she was at the door. Natsuki put herself between Shizuru and the door. “Are you kidding me? You’re the only person who’ll suffer my presence for any extended period of time who isn’t Mai! You’re really the only one I want in my presence. I just can’t get rid of Mai for whatever reason. Of course I love you, you idiot!”

Shizuru wailed, vision a blur. “No, you don’t! Why would you? Why would anyone? I’m little more than a freak. A charming freak, but a freak nonetheless. No one could ever love me.” Just because she could use charisma to get people to do whatever she wanted, it did not mean she would ever be truly loved by anyone beyond her parents.

Natsuki touched her shoulder. “Did you miss what I just said? I love you. You’re not a freak. I’m sorry if someone’s ever said that about you or to you. I’ve never thought of you that way. I swear whenever I leave it’s because I think there’s someone better out there for you.”

Shizuru shook her head and wiped her face, not caring how much of a mess she appeared. “That’s never been my experience. To the few women who have at least given me a chance, it’s been as an experiment, an experiment they tend to dislike.”

“How the hell can anyone dislike you? I’ve had to beat away cats following you home.”

“Natsuki…” Shizuru sighed. “You are too kind.” She was foolish to think anyone, especially Natsuki, truly wanted her. 

Natsuki’s hand went from her shoulder to her cheek. “Babe, I’m not being kind. You’re so damn awesome and I love every awesome thing about you. It’s taken a while to get used to you, but every little thing about you is great… and the not-so-little thing about you, too. You’re not a snake.”

“I’ve been told I shed my skin to become whoever is close to me.”

Natsuki scoffed. “Get the hell out. You’re nothing like me and I think you’re the closet person to me. You just happen to connect with tons of people and that’s good. You’re able to approach and talk to so many people. It’s like magic to me and try as I might, I can’t figure out how you do it. It’s a good and natural ability and I know you got it from your parents.”

“I lie in wait and then ambush people.” Shizuru wanted to throw up the more she realized people were right about her. She was sick.

Natsuki shrugged. “You’re a businesswoman. What the hell are you supposed to do? You can’t be all cuddly and lovey-dovey in business. You’re a charmer and sometimes people don’t realize you’ve charmed the pants off of them and that’s their faults. I used to get jealous when I saw you do it to people outside the office, but I get that it’s part of you.” 

“And… and…” Shizuru glanced down, unable to bring herself to even say it. How many looks of horror and disgust had she gotten in life because of it?

“Oh, babe.” Natsuki leaned in, kissing her so softly Shizuru cried more. How would she be able to live without these wonderful kisses? 

“I’m sorry.” Why did she have to be so awful? Why did she have to be marked? Branded really. She carried a sign of her misery with her always.

“For what? I absolutely love that thing.” Natsuki put her hands on Shizuru’s hips and pulled her close.

Shizuru groaned as Natsuki’s body connected with hers. It always felt like they were made of each other, but she guessed that was all in her mind. Natsuki could not possibly feel the same way, which was why she broke up with Shizuru do often.

“You don’t need to do this,” Shizuru said. She could leave with whatever bits of her dignity she still had, not that it felt like she had any left.

“I want to do this, just as much as I want to do you. I’m sorry I put you through all this stupidity. It’s just I heard you talking about marriage with your dad and I’m just… I mean, would you really want to have a family with someone as broken as me? I wouldn’t be able to give you or a family what you need. I’m broken.” 

It tore Shizuru up all over to hear Natsuki say such a thing. “Natsuki is not broken. You have gone through many things and come out better for them. We both have. You’ve made me a better human being.” Shizuru would never deny that. She had learned so much from Natsuki and she would list everything if it helped Natsuki understand just how extraordinary she truly was. “You having such patience with me helped me understand the dark place I had gone with my emotions and you brought me to the light. There’s no one on this green Earth I’d rather have a family with.”

Natsuki gave her a quick peck on the lips. It made her smile. If they were not over, she would have to figure out how to get Natsuki to understand how important she was.

Natsuki gave her a shy smile. “Being around you helped me understand what love is. You’ve helped me have healthy relationships. You helped me maintain my friendship with Mai and you pushed me to continue my education. You’ve done wonderful things for me and I thought everyone knew how awesome you were.”

It almost made her puff out of her chest to hear how Natsuki saw her. Natsuki was not with her out of pity. Natsuki was not trying to shake her off like so many fleas. “On a surface level, yes, people might agree with you. No one who has dug a little digger seems to think so.”

Natsuki snuffed. “They’re idiots, then. I love you so much, Shizuru, and that’s why I do dumb things like this. I feel like you deserve the world and I can’t give that to you. Hell, I can barely give you a roof over your head.” She motioned around the apartment. It was tiny, like a shoebox really, but that never mattered. It was where Natsuki wanted to be, so it was heaven for her.

Shizuru laughed through her tears. “You give me more than you can ever imagine.”

Natsuki did not say anything, leaning in for another kiss. This one was more than a peck. There was so much love and affection in something they had done at least a million times. This one felt new, fresh. Shizuru felt renewed from each movement of Natsuki’s lips. Natsuki pulled her even closer, a hand on the small of her back and the other on her ass. Her hands made themselves comfortable on Natsuki’s cheeks.

“I love you,” Natsuki said, panting against Shizuru’s mouth.

“I love you, too.”

Natsuki backed her against the wall and pressed them together. “I love every part of you.” She ground against Shizuru, yanking a hiss from Shizuru’s throat.

“Natsuki, don’t…” Shizuru was not sure if she was in the mood, not while thoughts of people throwing her away flashed through her mind.

“Don’t love you?” Natsuki kissed her again.

Her heart fluttered and she felt like she melted. Natsuki’s lips were tender and gentle, but her tongue really got Shizuru’s attention. Shizuru welcomed Natsuki’s tongue as always and was not disappointed. Shizuru felt like her body jumpstarted and all she wanted to do was be with Natsuki now. She returned the kiss with as much passion as she could muster.

Natsuki smiled. “There’s my Shizuru.”

Shizuru laughed. “I must look a mess.”

Natsuki brushed some of Shizuru’s hair out of her face. “You’re beautiful. I’m sorry I made you cry. I love you so much, Shizuru.”

Shizuru could only kiss Natsuki again. Words did not matter. Kisses, feelings, affections mattered at the moment. Natsuki wanted her. She wanted Natsuki. That was all that mattered. No one else’s thoughts or feelings of her mattered. There was only Natsuki. Natsuki kissing her with fire, Natsuki pressing her against the wall, and Natsuki rubbing against her in just the right way.

“Natsuki…” Shizuru hissed as they broke briefly.

Natsuki gave her a peck. “Yeah?”

“Are we still together?”

“Yeah.”

“Then can we move this to our bed?” Technically, it was Natsuki’s bed, just as the apartment was Natsuki’s, but Shizuru was here now, too.

Natsuki grinned and a light danced in her eyes. “Yeah. Then I can show you how much I love every little bit of you.”

Shizuru smiled at the suggestion and Natsuki led her to their bedroom by her hand, pausing to kiss her every few steps. It was still a very short walk, which Shizuru was thankful for anyway. When they got to the bedroom, Shizuru reached for the hem of Natsuki’s t-shirt, wanting to get her undressed as soon as possible. Natsuki took control of her hands, though.

“No. This was my mistake. Let me make it up to you,” Natsuki said.

“You don’t need to,” Shizuru replied.

Natsuki shook her head. “No, I do. I want to show you just what you mean to me. I don’t do stupid things because I don’t love you. I do stupid things because I love you so much.”

Shizuru snickered. “And yet you call me an idiot.”

“I never claim I’m not an idiot. Now, you sit back and let me take care of you.”

Before Shizuru could object, Natsuki kissed her again and pushed Shizuru onto the bed without breaking the kiss. The mattress creaked under her weight. Natsuki stepped away and snatched her shirt off before Shizuru realized what was happening. All words abandoned her when she caught sight of Natsuki’s sexy black lace bra. She loved Natsuki still had a thing for lingerie.

“You like it?” Natsuki smirked, knowing the answer.

“It’s my favorite.” Shizuru enjoyed dark colors against Natsuki’s porcelain skin. The contrast made her shift in her pants.

“Wanna touch?” Natsuki asked.

Shizuru scoffed. She did not need to answer. Natsuki stepped close and grabbed one of her hands. Shizuru purred as she cupped Natsuki’s perfect sized breast. It felt as wonderful as ever. Smooth, warm skin incased in soft lace. She ran her thumb across Natsuki’s nipple, watching it come to life under the fabric of the bra. She could not help leaning in for a taste. Natsuki yelped.

“You’re going to mess up my bra, Shizuru,” Natsuki said.

Shizuru smiled, knowing how serious Natsuki was about her underwear. “Then, how about you take it off?”

“Not a problem.” Natsuki stepped back and the bra was gone.

Shizuru’s mouth fell open as she was practically eye-to-eye with two adorable pink nipples. She would never get tired of the sight or taste. Her tongue came out, flicking Natsuki’s nipple. Natsuki moaned and pressed closer, which told Shizuru to give her more. She attached herself to Natsuki’s breast, suckling, delighting in the little moans escaping her beloved. She would do this all night if she could and never find herself bored, but Natsuki would probably consider it torture after awhile. She brought her hands to Natsuki’s waist, wanting to rid Natsuki of her pants.

“Nope.” Natsuki stepped away, ripping her pants out of Shizuru’s grip. Along with her went her nipple, causing a low pop to echo through the room as it was pulled from Shizuru’s adoring mouth.

“Natsuki!” Shizuru whined. She wanted Natsuki in her hands and her mouth right now.

Natsuki wagged her finger at the older woman. “I got this. You sit back and watch. Then, I’ll take care of you.”

Shizuru huffed, but it was hard to stay upset as Natsuki wiggled out of her pants and panties. Natsuki was bare, in more than one sense. She waxed, thinking it highlighted her lingerie better. Sometimes, Shizuru teased her about it, especially when Natsuki made her go along for her own landscaping. She could not believe the things Natsuki would do for her lingerie. Waxing was far from her favorite thing and maybe being coaxed into coming along was her punishment for the taunting.

“Now, it’s your turn,” Natsuki said, moving back to Shizuru’s range.

Shizuru wasted no time putting her hands on Natsuki’s naked body. Feeling Natsuki’s wonderful curves under her fingertips was paradise. Feeling Natsuki’s fingers popping open the buttons on her shirt could not be qualified. She whined when Natsuki moved away again, taking her blouse with her. Shizuru decided to make short work of her own bra. Natsuki’s eyes locked onto her chest and quickly the tables had turned. Natsuki ducked in low, placing wet kisses all across Shizuru’s breasts.

Shizuru moaned, throwing her head back. Each kiss felt like lightning dancing under her skin, etching Natsuki’s image into her heart. The lightning intensified as Natsuki’s hand settled between Shizuru’s legs and massaged her just the way she liked it. Her mind went blank, except for memories and thoughts of Natsuki.

“Natsuki… please…” Shizuru hissed. Her pants were uncomfortable and her body was on fire.

“I got you.” Natsuki continued on giving attention to her breasts, light kisses and nibbles, but made quick work of her pants.

Shizuru sighed as soon as she was free. Natsuki yanked her pants down until she could kick them off. Natsuki’s mouth went back to her chest while her hands settled on Shizuru’s length. Shizuru groaned as Natsuki worked her magic, hand moving at just the right pace, lips doing just the right thing. Her tongue lapped at Shizuru’s nipple as her thumb brushed across the head of Shizuru’s penis.

“Fuck,” Shizuru said and then squeaked as she realized she swore. That was rare indeed. It had to be the stress, not that it mattered.

Natsuki snickered. “I must be doing something right.”

“You’re doing everything right.” Shizuru ran her hand through Natsuki’s hair. The cracks in her heart healed with each little touch from Natsuki.

“Then, I best continue.” Natsuki smirked before her mouth was back at Shizuru’s breast and her hand slid up and down Shizuru’s shaft.

Shizuru took a deep breath, trying to keep some control as her body buzzed with pleasure, her heart fluttered with care, and her soul lit up with love. She could feel Natsuki all around her already. She never wanted this feeling to end. She never wanted things with Natsuki to end.

Natsuki began kissing her way down Shizuru’s torso. Shizuru knew what was coming and the anticipation made her pant. She feared she might explode right now. As Natsuki sank down to her waist, she paused while Shizuru could hardly breathe. This was all too much suddenly. Natsuki was too much.

“Shizuru, calm down. It’s not like this is the first time,” Natsuki pointed out.

“No, but this feels different.” It felt like every bit of her was bathed in the fresh air and sunshine that was her beloved.

Natsuki nodded. “Then, sit back and enjoy it, babe. Don’t hyperventilate. That’s more my thing.”

Shizuru chuckled, but the laughter choked as Natsuki took her into her mouth. Shizuru almost bit her tongue to avoid howling her glee to the ceiling. The feel of Natsuki’s tongue and the back of her throat, Shizuru would not last long. Shizuru pulled away, trying to escape Natsuki. Natsuki grabbed her around the waist, but let her go from her mouth.

“Where you going?” Natsuki asked.

“Get on the bed,” Shizuru replied.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“I want to be inside of you.” There was no better place to be and if she was going to climax prematurely, she would rather Natsuki get some pleasure from it.

Natsuki smiled. “Of course. How do you want me?”

“On your back.” She might be able to drag this out a little longer if she could set the pace and rhythm.

Natsuki did not tease or argue, moving to the middle of the bed. Shizuru settled on top of her, kissing her as soon as she was close enough. Natsuki’s hands were on her back, blunt nails scratching up and down Shizuru’s flesh, digging into her spirit and anchoring her to this world. She never wanted Natsuki to let go. Shizuru’s hands went to Natsuki’s breasts briefly before one eased down Natsuki’s body in between her legs. The warm silk against her fingers made her throb. Natsuki moaned into her mouth, but then broke the kiss.

“You can just…” A moan halted Natsuki’s words as Shizuru gave her slow, careful strokes with her fingertips.

“No.” Shizuru would never just push into Natsuki without preparing her first. She would never chance Natsuki feeling even a little bit of discomfort with their coupling.

Natsuki hooked her leg around Shizuru’s hip, pulling Shizuru closer. Shizuru almost fell over and had to adjust her elbow, which propped her. The head of her length rubbed against Natsuki’s slick clit and they both grunted. Shizuru exhaled slowly, but her hips moved. She felt like she would blow just rubbing against Natsuki.

“Shizuru,” Natsuki whined.

“I love you so much.” Shizuru eased a finger into Natsuki and hissed at the feel of her, warm, dipping all around her, hugging her just right. She would never not feel lucky to be able to be with Natsuki in such a way. 

Natsuki tossed her head to the side and let loose several cute noises. Shizuru sat up more, wanting to watch Natsuki’s face as she slid another finger inside. Natsuki was so perfect, velvety, and inviting. The way she pulsed around Shizuru’s fingers made Shizuru harder, almost to the point of pain.

“Shizuru, inside now,” Natsuki said through gritted teeth. 

“Patience, my love.” Of course, if Shizuru waited a little longer, she would have to wipe down Natsuki’s belly. She was not sure Natsuki would appreciate it, even if it was an accident.

“If I get any more patient, I’m going to flip you over.”

Shizuru smiled and went in for another kiss. Natsuki bucked against her as their lips and tongues moved together. It was now or never. Shizuru removed her fingers and positioned herself to push inside. Natsuki moved first and Shizuru was there before she was ready. Shizuru’s head dropped to the side as Natsuki embraced every bit of her, loved every inch of her. Her hips pumped, driving her into Natsuki with everything she had.

“Oh, god, babe.” Natsuki gripped Shizuru’s shoulders before one hand found the back of her neck and gripped.

Shizuru hissed and kissed Natsuki’s cheek. Natsuki turned her head, seeking Shizuru’s mouth. Their lips found each other, which pushed Shizuru more. She plunged into Natsuki, who arched her back to meet each of Shizuru’s thrusts. She lost herself in the feel of Natsuki, each touch was like some wonderful drug. It was over all too soon. Her body exploded in the pleasure that was Natsuki, her beloved. 

“Natsuki…” Shizuru groaned as her release shook her whole body and felt like it dragged her from this world to some sweet dream. She collapsed onto Natsuki, panting and thoughts blurred.

Natsuki caressed Shizuru’s back, like she was soothing her. _Did I fail to please Natsuki?_ She was too overcome and emotionally exhausted to do anything, though. Sleep claimed her before she could even let Natsuki know how much she loved her. Natsuki was her heart and soul.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: Natsuki takes time to reflect on their relationship.


	2. Seeing Things Differently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
> A/N: some more sex in this chapter.

 

2: Seeing Things Differently

Natsuki smiled down at Shizuru’s sleeping form, dark sheet dropped just at her waist with the rest of her proudly on display. Pale moonlight pouring in from the window gave Shizuru a beautiful glow, like the angel she was. It was impossible to tell she had been crushed a couple of hours ago. It felt like a thousand pins stabbed Natsuki in the heart.

“I love you so much,” Natsuki said to the still air. She did not understand how the rest of the world did not feel that way. Looking at Shizuru, flesh bare to her, she could not believe people called Shizuru a freak. She was so beautiful, in so many different ways.

She caressed Shizuru’s cheek, smooth skin delighting her fingertips. Shizuru did not even move. She was thoroughly worn out. Usually, Natsuki would feel pretty good about herself at fucking Shizuru into a coma, but she knew it was not really the sex that did Shizuru in. It was the emotional roller coaster of the evening that held that honor.

“I’m such an idiot.” Natsuki never wanted to hurt Shizuru and now she could not help but think about how many times she had torn Shizuru’s heart right out of her chest and stomped on it as she broke them up time and time again, justifying it was “the right thing to do.”

She wanted to throw up from the thought. How could she hurt Shizuru so carelessly? Shizuru, who taught her how to be human again, taught her how to live, and loved her unconditionally. What did that say about her?

“Maybe I haven’t come as far as I thought,” Natsuki muttered. She was scared, wanted to isolate herself, like after she lost her mother and found out about the whole HiME thing. She did not want to deal with life, but run from it and she did not care who got hurt in the process. Leaning down, she kissed Shizuru’s cheek.

How could Shizuru consider starting a family with her, committing to her, when she was so careless with Shizuru’s feelings? She hated to think how she might screw up a kid. She did not want to ruin another life, especially one she helped create. Her heart thumped and felt light, though. Her face twitched, a smile subconsciously trying to come out. It would be nice to have a family. If only she could trust herself with one.

They come far enough where Shizuru allowed Natsuki to break her heart five times and had gone on with life. Shizuru had definitely made progress, but Natsuki felt like she was in the same place as always. Why was she so stuck?

Natsuki was drawn from her thoughts as Shizuru winced in her sleep. _Are my negative thoughts even messing up sleep for her?_ The idea made her stomach flip. Not able to bear the notion of paining Shizuru even more, Natsuki eased out of bed. She slipped her t-shirt back on and made her way out into the living room. There was a bit of a chill, but she ignored it as she sat down on the battered sofa. She moved a throw pillow and picked up a jewelry box she had earlier.

“I wonder if she saw this.” Natsuki turned the tiny ring box in her hands. She doubted Shizuru saw, too injured over Natsuki’s stupidity in trying to break her heart for a sixth time.

Natsuki was certain each and every time she walked away, she was clearing Shizuru’s way to find someone better. No matter how much Shizuru swore Natsuki was the best, Natsuki could never believe it. How could she be the best of anything? No one in life wanted her, except her mother. Her mother who died, who abandoned her, who left her to the cruel world with no one else by her side. She was not someone who could ever be worthy of Shizuru, who had blossomed into a genuinely caring person, who was brilliant at everything she did, and who might actually change the world one day. And, yet, she had still gone out and purchased this stupid ring.

“Well, I am an idiot.” Natsuki sighed, scratching the top of her head. She might have never felt good enough, but she entertained the idea of being good enough. One day. Of course, she always suspected the day would remain squarely in her fantasies.

Hearing Shizuru and her father talk about marriage today reminded Natsuki of how she stood in Shizuru’s way. They were getting older. Shizuru deserved the life she wanted. A home, a wife, and children with her mischievous eyes and clever wit. Natsuki did not know what any of those things were, did not know how to deal with any of those things, did not know how to be what was required for those things. How could she? When was the last time she had a home? She never saw a wife in action and she doubted she could be a mother. What did she know about being a wife or a mother?

Shizuru deserved someone who could give her a family like her parents had. They seemed to perfectly complement each other, work brilliantly together in the office and at home, and they raised an amazing daughter, who followed in their footsteps right down to the same business degrees. Shizuru was bright, successful, and wonderfully loving when given the chance. There should be someone out there for Shizuru and Natsuki should not be that person, yet Shizuru said otherwise and Natsuki knew it was not from lack of options.

“Did I think otherwise?” Natsuki looked down at the ring box. Was there a moment when she bought the ring where it was less fantasy and more hope? Hope she was the person for Shizuru.

How could she hope when she was hopeless? She knew that. Yet, she had gone out and purchased this ring. She never worked out what she would say or how she would present it. Still, she bought it.

But, if there were times, even brief times, she hoped she was the person for Shizuru, how could she hurt her like that? Even buying the ring, she never really considered asking, just waiting for Shizuru to meet someone new, someone better, and then having this thing to remind her of when she had the best woman in all the land. Was that it? She wasted money on a keepsake she never intended to present? That did not feel right.

Much of her life did not feel right, though. There were times when she was with Shizuru that did not feel right. Then, there were times she was not with Shizuru and that did not feel right as well. How could she marry someone, start a family with someone when she hardly knew who she was? Hardly knew where she fit in the grand scheme of things?

“Natsuki?” Shizuru’s voice carried from the bedroom.

Natsuki jumped at the sound of her name and shoved the ring under the pillow. Shizuru came out right after, turning on the living room light, showing she wore one of Natsuki’s t-shirts. A nervous chuckle escaped Natsuki as Shizuru caught her eye.

“Natsuki, what are you doing out here in the dark?” Shizuru eased down onto the couch. She sat close enough where they almost touched, but not quite. Typically, Shizuru would drape herself on Natsuki, especially at moments like this. Was she still suffering from her earlier turmoil?

Natsuki shook her head. “Just thinking.” _Thinking about how much of a screw up I am_. So screwed up Shizuru did not even want to touch her.

Shizuru’s forehead wrinkled a little. “About?”

Natsuki took a deep breath. Should she tell Shizuru? Why not? For them to move forward as they needed to, she needed to reevaluate her approach to Shizuru. She needed to stop bottling everything up inside. If Shizuru was indeed the best woman ever, the kind, gentle woman she believed her to be, then she needed to open up to Shizuru and see where things went. 

“You… us… me… I dunno how to break it down,” Natsuki said. It seemed like so much, like their entires lives, her entire life, and their entire future.

Shizuru nodded. “Okay. What were you thinking about in particular? What was the exact thought on your mind when I came out?” 

“Hmm…” Natsuki sighed and picked up the pillow. She held up the box. It was time to take the step she had feared so often. It was time for this relationship to be real, to go somewhere.

Shizuru blinked. “Natsuki?” 

“I know I freaked out earlier because I heard you and your dad talking about marriage, but I’ve entertained the idea, I guess.” Natsuki shrugged. This felt like it was going so bad so quickly, which might have been the story of her life. _I could write a guide on how to fuck something at the speed of light and make it awkward in no time flat_. Hell, that might even be her superpower. 

Shizuru ran a finger across Natsuki’s hand before plucking the jewelry box from her grip. Natsuki reached for it, but pulled back. She wanted to protest, to tell Shizuru not to look at it, but she kept silent. She trusted Shizuru, so she would see what Shizuru did before she had an all-out panic attack.

“When did you buy this?” Shizuru asked, eyes on the box. She did not even open it.

“I didn’t go out and buy it after I heard you and your dad.” That would be weird. Go out and buy a ring and then try to break up with Shizuru. She was not _that_ crazy. But, then she thought about when she did buy it. _Maybe I am_ that _crazy_.

Shizuru nodded. “All right, but when did you buy this?”

Natsuki sighed and rubbed her face with both hands. Her chest felt tight, but she would work through it. “I bought it when I graduated high school.”

“And two weeks later you broke up with me,” Shizuru said, squinting in confusion. Natsuki could understand that. It did not make much sense to her either and she was the moron who did it.

“I saw you with that college girl and I thought you deserved to be with someone better and I broke up with you. I hoped you’d get someone better,” Natsuki replied. It did not make sense now, but it made sense then. Maybe it was because she now knew what she put Shizuru through.

“You thought this college girl was better? Was it Kina or some other girl?” Shizuru asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Somewhat. At least if it was Kina, I was close to her. If it was just any random girl from my school, this means you assume everyone I have ever spoken to is better than you.”

Natsuki felt even dumber now. “Uh…” Was it a crime to assume she was the worst of the worst? It felt accurate for most of her life!

Shizuru sighed. “Natsuki.”

“I broke up with you another time when I thought about proposing,” Natsuki admitted. Might as well just come clean about every single idiotic thing she had ever done in regards to Shizuru. It might be the thing to prove she was not right for Shizuru and someone out there with a better grasp of relationships, people, and love would accept Shizuru for who she was.

Shizuru smiled and put her hand on Natsuki’s thigh. “I always felt you broke up with me when you thought we were getting too close.”

Natsuki nodded. “I always get scared that I’m taking you away from someone better. In my head, how is it possible for someone to sit down with you, eat with you, study with you, work with you, and not love you immediately? Eventually, you’d find someone who suited you better and it was unfair of me to ask you to marry me. I knew you’d say yes, but I didn’t think you should.”

Shizuru leaned in, both hands now on Natsuki’s thighs. “You actually want to marry me?”

Natsuki grinned. “You’re the best thing to happen in my life. I’ve acknowledged that since I accepted my emotions for you and you cooled down a bit. You’re awesome.” There were times when Shizuru came on strong, pressured Natsuki, or it even felt like the depth of her emotions might drown them both, but Natsuki felt like she learned to tread properly through all of that, learned to keep her head above water, and figured out how to get Shizuru to back off just right. 

Shizuru squeezed her knee. “You’re just as awesome. I wish you could see that.”

A small, sad smile tugged at Natsuki’s lips. “I know how broken I am inside, so I don’t understand how you want me.”

“Natsuki, you know how broken I was inside and you still wanted me. I frightened you at first and yet you stayed by my side, helped me figure myself out while figuring yourself out. You were the person to stitch me back together and fill in my empty spaces. You helped make me better.”

“And you’ve done the same for me,” Natsuki said quickly. She did not want Shizuru to think her love and affections had done nothing for Natsuki.

Shizuru squinted as she studied Natsuki. “Then, why does it seem like you think you’re still the same person you once were? We’ve both grown.”

Natsuki rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t feel like I have when I see what you’re doing. I still feel like such a mess compared to you.” She felt like she was so broken she could not be fixed.

Shizuru shook her head. “I don’t know why you feel like that. You’re more accomplished than I am. You had to pay your way through school, search for your own job, maintain this apartment on your own for so long, pay your bills, and all by yourself.” 

“It’s not all by myself. I have you here. You support me. Hell, if you weren’t here, do you honestly think I’d have graduated from high school? After all the HiME stuff was over, I was ready to just get on my bike and never look back, but there was you,” Natsuki said. This was one of the many reasons she entertained the idea of marrying Shizuru, spending the rest of her life with her. Shizuru helped keep her grounded, helped keep her sane.

Shizuru moved closer to Natsuki and pulled Natsuki’s legs over her lap. “You think I pushed you to do these things?” She frowned, like she did not want that credit. 

“You didn’t push me, but you definitely encouraged me. Just seeing you do stuff was a good example, too. And, even though I didn’t think I deserved you, I always wanted to be able to take care of you. And, I guess I’m sucking at that.” She rubbed her forehead, trying to erase herself. How could she think she was taking care of Shizuru when Shizuru felt unwanted?

“You’re not. You’re doing wonderful. When I say things like this to you, do you think I’m just teasing?” Shizuru asked. 

Natsuki shrugged. “Or being nice.” Never a day went by without Shizuru giving her some sort of compliment, but she did it in that Shizuru way that came across as teasing. The same could be said whenever Shizuru’s parents complimented her. She rarely took them as being serious. 

Shizuru caressed her calf. “Natsuki, my love, I’m sorry my words come across in that manner. You need to know I am sincere in every possible way whenever I tell you how well you’ve done or how much you’ve achieved. You are truly amazing.”

Natsuki nodded. Even though she believed Shizuru right now, she did not feel amazing. She continued to feel the oppressive weight of failure on her shoulders, breaking her back. Taking a breath, she ran her hand through her hair, trying to get her thoughts together. She needed to be as honest with herself and Shizuru as she could right now. 

“Shizuru, I want us to talk about things to help me get to the point where I can actually ask you.” Natsuki waved the jewelry box. She wanted to get to the point where when she felt the urge to ask the question, she asked instead of breaking up with Shizuru. She wanted to get to the point where the answer she knew Shizuru would give her would not absolutely terrify her and she felt like it was the answer she deserved.

Shizuru nodded with a soft smile. “I would like that.”

“So, tell me, is there anything I need to do to move us forward? You know, beyond no more accidentally hearing stuff and trying to break up with you.”

Shizuru’s smile remained, but her eyes flashed with sorrow. “Yes, please, stop breaking up with me. I’m quite happy with you. I’m sure if at any point when you wanted to ask me, I’d say yes, but I fear I’d say yes just to keep you by my side.” 

Natsuki shook her head. “I don’t want you to say yes out of fear. I want you to say yes because it’s the next step in our relationship. I want us to move forward and take the proper steps to get there. So, what are our next steps?”

“Well, I believe we have started already. We’re being open and honest with each other on a new level.” 

Natsuki nodded. “Yes, I’ve realized this as well and I’ll definitely try to keep doing it. And, I don’t want you to hold back on anything because you think it might hurt my feelings.”

Crimson eyes went wide. “Natsuki…”

“I know sometimes you don’t want to say things to me because you think I’ll freak out. Sometimes, you’re probably right, but I think it’s time we started freaking me out. Don’t hold back. We have to be able to talk to each other.” Natsuki very much understood this now. There was no time to be shook up anymore. Shizuru had no plans of going anywhere and she had no plans of going anywhere. 

Shizuru licked her lips. “Agreed. I would love to be as open with you now as I was earlier and I would love for you to be this open with me.”

“I’m gonna do my best, believe me. I want us to really grow as a couple.”

“Then, could we… maybe… get an apartment together?” Shizuru asked, eyes down at the floor.

Natsuki blinked. “Excuse me?” Did they not have an apartment? “Uh… Shizuru, we got that covered.” 

Sighing, Shizuru shook her head. “No, we don’t.” She took a deep breath and looked Natsuki dead in the eye before continuing. Somehow, the eye contact made the whole thing seem more intense, heavier. “This is your apartment, Natsuki. I moved in here because I spent most of my time here. You wouldn’t really come to my apartment.” 

“Oh, geez.” Natsuki slapped herself in her forehead. How selfish was she? She never even realized she expected Shizuru to come to her more than she went to Shizuru and Shizuru obliged her. “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid. You want to be comfortable, especially in a life that’s often left you uncomfortable.”

“Stop giving me excuses. You need to be comfortable, too. Hell, are you comfortable here?” Natsuki shot up off the sofa and looked around the apartment. Holy Hell, it looked like it did before Shizuru even moved in! “Fuck me.” _I’m so fucking stupid!_

Shizuru stood up. “Natsuki, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not! And telling me it is, well, that’s just you trying to spare my feelings again. I need to hear this stuff, Shizuru.” Natsuki tapped herself in the chest.

“All right. It’s fine because I wanted to be with you, but I would love for us to have a place of our own, together. That’s the truth.”

“Thank you for saying that. You’ve lived here for years and there’s barely a speck of you here! How could I not see that? And then I broke up with you five times in, like, ten years. Why the hell do you keep coming back to me, Shizuru? You should’ve left me long ago. I’m a fucking idiot!” Natsuki threw her hands up. She could not believe how selfish and inconsiderate she was. Why had no one ever said anything? Mai watched her struggle with this relationship for ten years and never bothered to talk to her. In fact, Mai acted like she knew what she was doing, often spoke of admiring Natsuki and Shizuru’s relationship. What the hell?

“No, Natsuki, you’re not.” Shizuru pulled Natsuki to her and held her as if she were precious. “We’ve both been living cautiously in this relationship. I’ve done things where I don’t want to upset you and you’ve done things that you thought were best for me and we’ve gotten stuck in this rut. This can be the start of something new for both of us.”

Natsuki nodded. “I want things to work with us, Shizuru. I want us to be together and I want you to know how special you are to me.”

Shizuru chuckled and leaned in, kissing Natsuki softly. Natsuki kissed her back, cupping her cheek. How had she messed things up so badly? How had she dragged Shizuru on in a relationship like this for ten years? She kissed Shizuru harder, needing her to feel how much she wanted to make up for what happened.

“Why do you put up with me?” Natsuki asked.

With a smile, Shizuru kissed the end of Natsuki’s nose. “Because I love you and I love being around you. I’ve enjoyed watching you become an adult and being a supportive partner.”

Natsuki blinked. “Excuse me? I haven’t been supportive at all. I’ve been an ass.” How the hell was any part of her supportive? She moved Shizuru into her tomb and did not even allow Shizuru to liven the place up. And Shizuru loved her enough, wanted her enough, to dwell in a grave with her without her ever realizing it.

There was another kiss to the end of her nose. “My love, you’re always so focused on the negative. When I moved in here, one of the first things you did was promise to let me focus on my career. You encouraged me to be the best I could be and gave me the means to rise in the company. You insisted on taking care of the bills, so I wouldn’t get stressed out. You insisted you were used to it and you could handle it and you did.” 

Natsuki smiled a little. “Well, yeah. I wanted you to just make sure you showed the guys at your job that you got this and you showed them. I don’t know why they doubted you, though. I mean, hell, they know your mom.”

“Yes, but you gave me the freedom to show them I’m just as much of a terror… with a nicer smile.” Shizuru smirked. 

Natsuki smiled even more. She always wanted to make sure Shizuru could focus on whatever she was doing in life without having to focus on trivial things. Natsuki was used to paying for everything, taking care of everything, and it was fine with her. She wanted to give Shizuru the chance to rise the top. To this day, she still paid all the bills and for any dates they went on. she also took care of any repairs that might be needed. Shizuru handled when they needed new clothes or household items, and definitely the food shopping, but that was mostly to avoid having something other than ramen to eat.

“Things like that allowed me to understand how you care for me,” Shizuru said and came in for another kiss. This one landed on Natsuki’s lips.

“I care about you. I care about you so much.” Natsuki could not believe how long she allowed her insecurity to dictate their relationship.

“I care about you, too.” Shizuru came in for another kiss and it filled Natsuki with adoration.

Natsuki was about to say something, but Shizuru tilted her head and deepened the kiss. Natsuki was powerless to resist and melted into Shizuru as their tongues gently caressed. How could she think she could ever let Shizuru go? The very idea always tied her in knots. But, then again, if it was for the best, for Shizuru, Natsuki would have endured the pain for all eternity.

“While we’re being honest, I hate breaking up with you,” Natsuki said in a breath.

“Then never break up with me again.” There was another kiss, more passionate than before. Shizuru turned her and backed her onto the sofa.

“I won’t. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.” She wrapped her arms around Shizuru. She would never let her go.

“Just as Natsuki always says, but you’re my idiot.”

Natsuki was about to respond, but Shizuru was on her again. The kissing was even hotter now and Natsuki felt it down to her toes, setting her on fire. Shizuru kneeled before her, hands sliding down Natsuki’s bare thighs to her knees and then up to her waist. Natsuki moaned as her body craved every bit of her love. 

“Shizuru,” Natsuki whispered.

“Just let me love Natsuki,” Shizuru replied.

Natsuki nodded and Shizuru’s mouth was back on hers. Natsuki gave herself over to the kiss and enjoyed tender hands roaming her chest with an odd fervent curiosity. Shizuru’s lips left hers briefly, ridding her of her shirt. She knew exactly where Shizuru would go now and was not disappointed when lips attached to her right nipple. Natsuki groaned as Shizuru lapped at her pert nipple. Her hand kneaded the unoccupied breast, pinching just a little.

“Shizuru…” Natsuki breathed while each touch sent lightning down her spine, pooling in her stomach. 

Shizuru did not let up. Suckling at Natsuki, definitely going for leaving a mark, reminding Natsuki this was one of Shizuru’s favorite things. Shizuru enjoyed her body, enjoyed her. The thought made Natsuki’s body hum. Then, Shizuru bit her just the way she liked and her body shook.

“You taste so good all the time,” Shizuru muttered, tongue refusing to leave Natsuki’s body.

Natsuki would have said something, but Shizuru’s other hand settled between her legs and stole all her words. Natsuki mewed and heat flowed from her as magical fingers caressed her, first outside and then in. It felt beautiful, like she was one with the universe. 

Shizuru kissed her way down Natsuki’s chest. Natsuki tried to brace herself, but jolted when Shizuru’s tongue came in contact with her clit just the same. Natsuki bucked into Shizuru’s face, needing to feel more of her. Her nerves start to burn and she could feel the sizzle of the orgasm she missed out on earlier. 

“Shizuru, Shizuru, Shizuru,” Natsuki panted, world collapsing around Shizuru’s fingers and mouth.

“Come for me, precious,” Shizuru said and she twisted her fingers. Natsuki had no choice but to obey.

“Shizuru!” Natsuki’s whole body felt like it exploded with joy and she melted into the couch. Yeah, what the hell was she thinking trying to leave this woman? She was not thinking at all.

Natsuki could make out a few wet kisses to her thigh before Shizuru pulled away, a devilish smile on her face. On a normal day, she would come in for seconds before Natsuki was ready for another. Natsuki did not mind, but she pretended to be annoyed because Shizuru liked to irk her. She did not come in for another taste, though.

“Shizuru?” Natsuki’s throat felt tight and her pleasure waned quickly. What if that was a goodbye? _Wait, is there such a thing as goodbye oral?_

“Can I…?” Shizuru glanced down, calling attention to her dick. She was as hard as ever.

“God, babe, of course. Get up here.” Natsuki moved, like Shizuru would sit down next to her, which she only had a second to realize was idiotic.

In that second, Shizuru was up and kissing her again. The kiss was just as wonderful as the others. Shizuru used her body weight to direct Natsuki down, lying on the couch. Shizuru settled in between her thighs, her cock bumping Natsuki’s clit. They both moaned into each other’s mouths and Natsuki hooked her leg around Shizuru’s hip. Shizuru broke the kiss, focusing on lining up with Natsuki.

“I love you,” Shizuru said, lips hardly a breath away.

“I love you, too.” Natsuki’s breath hitched in her chest as Shizuru eased inside of her. Stars danced before Natsuki’s eyes, just as always. “Damn, you feel so fucking good, babe.”

“Such naughty words,” Shizuru grunted.

Natsuki chuckled. Shizuru was the queen of dirty talk as far as she was concerned. It took Natsuki years just to be able to utter the words “fuck me” while Shizuru was never shy to tell Natsuki what she wanted to do or how Natsuki felt or what she wanted Natsuki to do to her.

“Natsuki takes me so well, like she was made for me,” Shizuru said, peppering kisses to Natsuki’s parted lips.

Natsuki chased Shizuru’s lips with her own as her hips met each of Shizuru’s keen thrusts. Fireworks burst through her with each movement. How had she gotten so lucky with Shizuru? How had she managed to land a woman who could make her body sing, who could heal all her wounds, and who could love her through all of her mistakes? A shot of pleasure drove all those questions from her mind and she focused on every movement of her lover. 

Shizuru’s pace picked up quickly and Natsuki clutched Shizuru’s back, holding on for the ride. Shizuru angled her hips, hitting a spot inside of Natsuki that felt rang out through every part of her and drew out sharp coos. Natsuki was not sure how Shizuru got her to make these noises, did not know she could make such noises until Shizuru, but there the sounds were. With each noise, ecstasy danced over every inch of Natsuki. She clung to Shizuru, tried to cling to feeling. A rush of bliss blazed through her as she tried so hard to hang on. 

“Shizuru, I’m gonna…” Natsuki could not even get the sentence out before she cried out. White light flashed before her eyes while euphoria resonated under her skin.

“I owed Natsuki that.” Shizuru kissed her chin. 

Natsuki relaxed for a moment, but then realized Shizuru was still buried within her, still ready for her. Shizuru continued to move, slower now, each stroke working Natsuki up again. The rush returned, the climb faster than ever. It was a short trip to a high peak. Natsuki’s nail dug into Shizuru’s shoulders as her next climax washed over her, bathing her in light and magnificence. By the time she regained her wits, she noticed Shizuru was moving much slower than before.

“You came?” Natsuki asked the obvious.

Shizuru sighed with a shake of her head. “Twice in one night with no condom. You are a bad influence.” 

Natsuki chuckled, caressing in between Shizuru’s shoulder blades. “I’m still on birth control, silly. Besides, for the first time in a long time, I think I could bear the idea of carrying your child without going into a panic attack over what kind of mother I’d be.” The idea used to frighten her more than anything else. What type of mother could she be considering how she lost her own? But, now, she realized she was more than she thought. She could do this. She could build a life and a family with Shizuru. She had to open herself to the idea, though. She had to stop living in the past, buried in this tomb, burdened by obligations that did not exist.

Shizuru ran her hand through Natsuki’s hair, down her neck, and to her stomach. “Someday.” 

Natsuki glanced down at her flat belly. “Yeah, someday.”

“And, this is what sets you apart from any other woman who has ever considered a relationship with me.”

Sighing, Natsuki shook her head and brought her hands to Shizuru’s cheeks. “I’m sorry people treated you like that. It never occurred to me people judge you for being different.”

Shizuru smiled. “This is one of the many things I love about Natsuki. She only sees me, even when I’m buried underneath old habits.” 

“Because, even underneath old habits, there is my most important person. All the time.”

The smile grew into a grin. “Have I mentioned I love you?” 

“Have I mentioned I’d have your babies?” Natsuki knew that was better than any “I love you” now.

Shizuru giggled. “Promises, promises.” 

Natsuki smiled, but it turned into a yawn. “Wanna go back to bed? I think I can sleep this time.”

Shizuru groaned. “But, then I would have to pull out of my most important person.”

Natsuki rolled her eyes. “We’ve slept on the sofa before, Shizuru. You know we always end up on the floor in the middle of the night. It’s never a good wake up.”

Shizuru nodded, as that was the solid truth. She sat up, easing out a Natsuki as she did so, and drawing a moan from Natsuki. A smirk settled on Shizuru’s face and Natsuki glared at her. To get rid of the glower, Shizuru helped Natsuki up. They made their way back to the bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. It felt like the first night together after agreeing to become a couple. It was like they had been refreshed, renewed, and Natsuki refused to throw this second chance away. They would move forward.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: the end.


	3. Something New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t own these characters.
> 
> A/N: more sex.

3: Something New

Shizuru stared around the new apartment. It was breathtaking. Not because it was particularly big or glamorous. The thing blowing her mind was that it was _theirs_. She and Natsuki had an apartment. Together. It was not Natsuki’s old apartment. This was their place. Together. Shizuru giggled.

“Hey, instead of acting like a maniacal tourist, how about helping me with this box? Or at least getting out of my way,” Natsuki said, nudging Shizuru with the corner of the box in her arms. 

Shizuru laughed more as she slipped out of Natsuki’s way. Natsuki, being the tough girl she was, had one of their larger boxes in her grip. She carried it to their living room and groaned as she deposited it on the floor. Shizuru shook her head and grinned.

“How many more boxes?” Shizuru asked. She enjoyed the sight of Natsuki moving them in. She had on a tank top, which clung to her as she worked up a sweat. Shizuru planned on having quite some fun once all of the boxes were inside and Natsuki still had that glow about her. She had time to decide if she wanted to peel Natsuki out of the tank top or enjoy it on her for a while longer. _Why not both?_ They both deserved a treat, after all.

“A few. I’ll get them. You can start pulling stuff out. I can’t believe you had so much stuff. Where the hell were you keeping it?” Natsuki replied.

Shizuru gave her a tiny smile. “My parents’ house. My office.” She had always planned to sneak new, little things into Natsuki’s apartment, wanting to avoid any drastic change to Natsuki’s environment. She never got around to it, too nervous about frightening Natsuki.

Natsuki frowned briefly, eyes circling the apartment before settling on Shizuru. “You could’ve brought it home, you know?”

Shizuru arched an eyebrow. “Could I have?”

“I wouldn’t have panicked or anything. I want you around.” Natsuki shook her head. “Okay, or I might have panicked and broke up with you again. I get why you were so cautious.” Natsuki twisted her mouth up to the side and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry.”

Shizuru glided over to Natsuki and wrapped her arms around Natsuki’s waist. “Don’t be sorry. We just moved into this amazing apartment. We’ve together.”

Natsuki kissed Shizuru, making her blood stir. “You’re so awesome.”

Shizuru smiled. “All right. Let me start opening boxes and put what I can away.” It would give her something to do until she could get Natsuki to keep her occupied.

Natsuki went back to grab more of their boxes while Shizuru opened their kitchen items. It kept the smile on her face as she recalled how bare Natsuki’s kitchen was when she moved in. Natsuki relied on Shizuru, Mai, or a fast food restaurant to feed her. It was mostly done out of laziness, which Shizuru could respect, but they could not eat laziness or respect, so one of them had to cook. Shizuru felt like she transformed into a fairly decent cook over the years. She could not rival Mai, but any potential children she and Natsuki had would not starve, or complain about always eating the same thing.

“Speaking of cook, I should probably make something for dinner,” Shizuru said as she glanced at clock. They would eat early, but that was fine. Natsuki would be grateful for homemade food and then indulge Shizuru in whatever she wanted to do for the night. That prospect was even better than having her way with Natsuki once all the boxes were inside.

Shizuru put the food on and moved to help Natsuki with whatever she might be doing. Shizuru stopped as soon as she caught sight of Natsuki. Her mouth dropped open. Natsuki was bent over, setting up their meal area. Half of the far wall was a sliding glass door with a raised platform that they agreed would be the dining room. Natsuki was straightening out their table.

Bent over, Natsuki was on display. She had on shorts that went just passed her ass, creamy legs looking like a sexy exhibit. Shizuru twitched at the sight. Natsuki must have felt eyes on her, turning to look over her shoulder. She smiled and the twinkle in her eyes shows she knew exactly what she was doing to Shizuru.

“Natsuki is such a little vixen,” Shizuru said. She never would have thought Natsuki would even subtly try to seduce her, but their relationship had new air. Natsuki had new comfort, new confidence. It was like they could both breathe.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Natsuki had the nerve to flip her hair.

Shizuru did not need anymore of a signal, marching over to Natsuki. She gathered Natsuki into her arms and kissed her with everything she had. Natsuki returned the kiss, sliding her tongue into Shizuru’s mouth with a moan. Shizuru groaned at the feel and filled her hands with Natsuki, squeezing Natsuki’s perfect breasts over her tank top.

“Do we have time?” Natsuki asked, glancing over Shizuru’s shoulder to nothing. They had not put up a clock yet and there was no way she could see the microwave at this angle. Unless, of course, Natsuki was trying to see the pots on the stove, which was more likely. But, she would not be able to see them either.

“Quickie,” Shizuru chirped. They would have to be fast or dinner would burn.

Natsuki smirked. “One of your favorites.”

Shizuru grinned. “Everything is my favorite with you, but I do enjoy bringing you to orgasm as quickly as I can. Let’s see how long it takes me now.”

Natsuki snickered, but Shizuru kissed her again, swallowing the sound and transforming it to a delightful moan. Shizuru’s hands eased underneath Natsuki’s tank top, caressing smooth skin and shivering with anticipation. Her beloved felt so good, all the time. Natsuki arched into her hands and she squeezed just right. Natsuki’s legs gave out briefly and she dipped. Shizuru chuckled, holding onto her love.

“How about we lie you down?” Shizuru smirked.

“You just wanna fuck me on the table before we even have a meal on it,” Natsuki replied.

Natsuki using the word “fuck” would probably always cause Shizuru’s naughty bits to tingle. “You know me so well.” She wanted their first action on the table to be more than a meal. It would exciting, and she enjoyed having Natsuki anywhere, but outside of the bedroom was even more of an adventure. She could not wait to get to all of the other surfaces in their new home.

Natsuki scoffed. “You wanna defile every inch of this place already, huh?”

“Isn’t that the best way to prove it’s both of ours?” They could leave their mark everywhere. It would be so much fun.

Natsuki laughed, but stepped away just enough to pull off her tank top. Shizuru leaned in, wanting her mouth all over Natsuki’s chest, but a hand to her own chest stopped her. She pouted.

“We don’t have time for that. Take your pants off,” Natsuki said, wiggling out of her own shorts.

“Natsuki is too cute giving orders.” _I wonder how I could get Natsuki to do that more often_. From the throb below her belt, she was not the only one in favor of that notion. Shizuru did not waste any time getting out of her clothes while Natsuki shot her a dirty look. She smiled in return.

Natsuki was on her back on the table as Shizuru kicked her pants away. The hardwood of their elevated floor by the window hurt her knees, but she did not care. She pulled Natsuki to her, coming in for a kiss while she lined herself up.

“May I?” Shizuru asked, lips barely away from Natsuki’s.

“If you don’t, I’m going to put my own fingers to use,” Natsuki said.

“Oh, you’re learning to tease.” Shizuru grinned. This was another thing she would love to see, though. Maybe she could figure out a way to talk Natsuki into touching herself while she watched. Natsuki was more and more comfortable with herself and their relationship everyday, so it might not be the impossible dream.

Natsuki chuckled and Shizuru had to go in for another kiss. Natsuki wrapped her arms around Shizuru, pulling her closer. Shizuru slipped her hand between them, stroking Natsuki with two fingers and pushing one inside. Natsuki bucked and moaned as Shizuru moved the single digit. Having Natsuki wrapped around one finger and then two made Shizuru’s body blaze and her length throbbed painfully with want.

“Shizuru, we don’t…” Natsuki hissed. “We don’t… have the time.”

Shizuru pouted. “Natsuki is right.”

She sighed, slid her fingers from Natsuki, lined herself up, and eased inside. Natsuki cooed and her back bowed as she pulled Shizuru in for another kiss. Shizuru groaned into Natsuki’s mouth. Dear lord. Being inside Natsuki would never get old. The whole experience was more intoxicating than any drug. It was rainbows and light flooded her system. She would never be able to tell Natsuki that her body was made of rainbows, though. Yes, they were talking more about thoughts, but this one would be well beyond.

“You feel so good, my love,” Shizuru purred, hips moving at a rapid pace, trying to capture all of Natsuki.

“So do you.” Natsuki ran her fingers through Shizuru’s hair. “Now, come on. After this, I believe food was promised.”

Shizuru laughed. “I’ll make you forget all about food.” She would make Natsuki rethink walking for a while.

Natsuki smiled, but threw her head back and moaned as Shizuru’s pace increased. Shizuru pumped as fast as she could as hard as she could with Natsuki’s nails digging into her shoulders, making sure she did not pull away. Not that she had any plans to do such a thing. This was icing on the Natsuki cake and she would have her cake and eat it, too. She would have her fill of this cake.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Natsuki groaned as Shizuru drove into her. She could feel every glorious inch of Natsuki all over her and it was the best thing ever. She felt Natsuki all over her skin and under, in her heart, and in her soul.

Shizuru kissed the side of Natsuki’s neck, feeling a vein strain right under her lips. She hissed as Natsuki clenched around her, body picking up speed on its own. Her mind swam with pleasure, dancing even to the edges of her hair. Natsuki was so amazing, all the time, but especially when her body embraced Shizuru, invited her in for more, and loved her with a tender firmness.

Shizuru shifted enough to move a hand and catch a bouncing breast. She groaned against delicious skin, taking a nip, as she kneaded perfection. A deep moan escaped Natsuki as she arched her back again, changing their angle and thus changing Shizuru’s pace. Shizuru adjusted, needing to feel as much of Natsuki as she possibly could. With a jolt of her hips, she hit the perfect spot inside of Natsuki, as if warning her.

“Fuck, Shizuru…” Natsuki wrapped her legs around Shizuru, trying to pull her closer. Shizuru pumped harder, faster, and reached between them, caressing Natsuki’s warm desire to help things along. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m about to…” She clutched Shizuru’s shoulders and let loose a long breath as she rippled around Shizuru.

Shizuru tried to hold off, to get Natsuki through her orgasm, but it was impossible, not with the way Natsuki pulsed around her. It did not help when Natsuki grabbed hold of her left breast and pinched her nipple as a way to hang on to Shizuru. Ecstasy bolted through her in intense waves. It was like the tsunami of pleasure short circuited her brain. She climaxed right with Natsuki and then fell against her as her bones felt like noodles. When she felt like she was part of the world again, she felt Natsuki combing her fingers through her hair.

“You gotta get up, babe. You still owe me dinner,” Natsuki said with a laugh.

Shizuru snorted. “I just did all this work and now you want dinner as well? You are not pulling your weight.”

“Don’t worry. As soon as there’s a spider in the shower, I got you.”

Shizuru laughed, even though it was true. She would never be able to explain it, but spiders freaked her out and Natsuki was her great champion in that area, without ever making fun of her. But, she was not ready to move yet.

“We still have a few minutes.” Shizuru nuzzled Natsuki’s neck.

“I guess.” Natsuki busied herself, playing with the hair at the nape of Shizuru’s neck. Shizuru sighed. This was peace.

-8-8-8-8-

Natsuki sighed as she leaned against the bedroom dresser, staring down at the ring box. She kept the ring out in the open now, a reminder that one day she would be brave enough to ask. The question tapped at her skull ever since they moved into the new place a couple of weeks ago. It was too soon. They were still adjusting to the new truth of their relationship, but she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Shizuru and now she felt confident enough to do it.

For the moment, to occupy her thoughts, Natsuki had to focus on the fact that they were hosting Shizuru’s parents. It would be the first time they had people over for a meal. Mai and Mikoto had stopped by a few days after they moved in, but it was just to drop off a housewarming gift; a plant Natsuki was sure she would kill before the month was over. The same could be said of Yukino and Haruka, who remained friends with Shizuru… if it could be called friends. Natsuki did not bother to really classify it since it did not bother her and Shizuru seemed fine with whatever it was.

“I feel like I should’ve dressed up,” Natsuki said as she stepped out of their bedroom. She had on a plain white shirt with black capri pants.

“You’re fine. My parents are quite familiar with you,” Shizuru replied from the kitchen. She was dressed in a similar fashion, wearing one of Natsuki’s shirts, as she often did whenever they were home, and tan linen pants that almost covered her bare feet.

Natsuki shrugged. This was true, but this still felt different. “Yeah, but now they’re visiting our home. Like, really our home.” They had only come to her apartment once. It was like they knew it was a mausoleum and wanted no part of watching her bury their daughter in it. She wished they said something then. She always respected them and would have take their words into consideration. But, then again, she might have just broken up with Shizuru again if they said something.

“Yes, and they’ll still expect you to drop shrimp in your lap while you’re trying to grab your drink at the same time.”

Natsuki laughed. “Hey, I only did that once.” Of course, Shizuru never let her live that down and neither did Mister Fujino.

Shizuru snickered, but she did not say anything. Natsuki made her way to the kitchen and embraced Shizuru from behind, placing a soft kiss behind her ear. Shizuru leaned against her, but kept an eye on the pan in front of her.

“I’m so happy we did this, babe,” Natsuki said, resting her head against Shizuru’s shoulder.

“Natsuki usually doesn’t like dinner with my parents,” Shizuru said. 

Natsuki puffed out her cheeks. “You know what I mean. I feel refreshed and I just… I just want to make you happy.”

“You’ve always made me happy.”

“Yeah, but now I’m not going to run scared if I start feeling happy or if you start acting like you’re my partner. I’m not going to try to push you to someone better.”

Shizuru smiled. “Because there is no one better than Natsuki?”

“No, because you want me and I’m ready to accept that.” There were plenty of people out there better than her and maybe even fit better with Shizuru, but Shizuru did not want them. Shizuru wanted her and she wanted Shizuru. That was the end of it.

Shizuru smiled more and Natsuki stepped away to let her finish with dinner. Their bell rang and Natsuki went to answer the door. Two smiling faces greeted her. Both smiles managed to remind her of Shizuru, even though they were very different faces. But, it was because Shizuru had different types of smiles and Natsuki was intimate with them all. Shizuru’s father wore the teasing one while her mother’s smile was genuine. 

“Natsuki-chan, you’re looking well,” Mister Fujino said with a twinkle in his eye.

Natsuki bit back a scowl. She disliked anyone except Shizuru calling her “Natsuki-chan,” but she knew he did it to get on her nerves. After all, he was Shizuru’s father. How could he not tease her? He was over the top with it when he pulled her into a hug and laughed as she groaned. She pulled away, shoving him a little. He laughed even more. Thankfully, Shizuru’s mother was a more serious sort. 

“Leave her be. We don’t want her to kick us out before we even get to see the place,” Missus Fujino said, giving her husband a light swat to his shoulder.

He winced. “This is true.”

“Come now, Natsuki. Give us the grand tour,” Missus Fujino said as she glided in with all the grace and skill of a goddess. Natsuki bet women all over were jealous of her just from the way she moved. She certainly saw that with Shizuru.

Natsuki rubbed the back of her neck as she closed the door. “There’s not much of a grand tour.” The apartment was fairly small. It was bigger than the last one, but still one bedroom, a kitchen, bathroom, and an open common space was not much to show off. 

“Indulge us, Natsuki,” Missus Fujino replied and her husband grinned while shooting Natsuki two thumbs up.

Natsuki rolled her eyes at his antics and decided to go with the flow. It typically made things less painful when it came to dealing with the Fujinos, parents and child included. Stepping further inside, the Fujinos took their shoes off and Natsuki took their coats. They were dressed as informally as she and Shizuru were, so she breathed a little sigh of relief. She went to hang up their coast while they went by the small kitchen. They greeted Shizuru with quick hugs and kisses, letting her get back to the dinner. Natsuki walked by them and went to the living room. 

“So, this is the living room.” Natsuki motioned around them. It was quite different from her apartment. It was much bigger in comparison, even though the apartment itself was not very big.

This apartment was much lighter than hers, more livable because of that. The walls were a cream with espresso beams on the walls and ceiling. Plus, there were touches of Shizuru everywhere and her personality oozed from the place. She tended to be more cheery than Natsuki and decorated as such. Natsuki tended to buy things for function, but Shizuru bought for function and aesthetics, with light colors and soothing textures.

So, they had a comfortable, cute beige sofa with a couple of black throw pillows that matched their low coffee table, which sat on top of a cream colored rug. A few magazines were neatly stacked on the table, mostly about business as Shizuru did a lot of reading in the living room. Natsuki played video games in the living room and did her reading whenever she was somewhere and had to wait.

“I see you finally got rid of your ancient TV,” Mister Fujino said as he looked at the wall opposite the couch.

The television mounted on the wall was new, as was the stand beneath it, holding her game console, a DVD player, and plenty of movies. Natsuki’s old things did not match with the decor of the place. She did not mind. She wanted to own all new things with Shizuru. So, she shed her old things to begin anew. She felt like she could stretch her arms now and feel vigor all over.

“Yeah, this one just goes better with the apartment.” Natsuki motioned around the place. There were espresso-colored shelves with books, diplomas, awards, and, of course, pictures. There were pictures all over, which was something else the other apartment lacked. Natsuki was not a picture person and Shizuru never put any up, thinking the noticeable change in the environment could have a negative affect on Natsuki. Natsuki liked to think if Shizuru talked to her about it, then it would have been fine, but she would never be sure. They talked about everything now.

“This space here had to be the selling point.” Shizuru’s mother stepped up to the platform that was their dining area. They had the curtains open to let some of the light in, shining on the table they had wiped down thoroughly after having sex on it… on more than just their first day here. 

“It was.” Natsuki smiled. Beyond enjoying it as a place to eat and have sex, it was a great place to sit, enjoy the air, sun, and be together. It was like having a personal picnic area in their home. It was their third favorite spot to cuddle, after the bed and the couch.

“I like the pillows you’ve gone with instead of traditional tata mats,” Missus Fujino said. They had beige pillows with chocolate wave designs on them for seats, as their dining table was only a little taller than their coffee table.

Natsuki’s smile turned into a grin. “I thought it fit with the space more.” She was proud to be able to throw in a little bit of contribution to the apartment.

Missus Fujino reached out and ran her hand through Natsuki’s hair. Natsuki did not flinch or pull back, which was something she used to do years ago. It had taken her a long time to get used to affection from someone other than Shizuru. Physical affection had been particularly hard to get used to. But, the Fujinos liked to give her little caresses and pettings and she accepted it as part of being with Shizuru. Now, though, it was nice. It let her know Shizuru’s parents cared about her. 

“You’ve done good work here, Natsuki.” Mister Fujino slapped her on the back, purposely hard.

Natsuki lurched forward and coughed. “Well, Shizuru did most of it. You both know I’d live in a hole in the wall if I could.”

They chuckled and did not say anything, as they all knew it was the truth. The last apartment was not far from a hole in the wall. Before Natsuki could get to the bedroom part of the tour, which she did not want to do in the first place because Shizuru’s parents had the same habit as her of making things weird, dinner was served. Shizuru was a life saver in so many ways.

“Your cooking skills have vastly improved, my dear,” Shizuru’s mother commented as they sat down to dinner.

“If they didn’t, Natsuki would make sure we have all the convenient store food we could eat,” Shizuru replied with a smile.

“And McDonalds,” Natsuki added. “Only the best for my lady.” She pointed at Shizuru with her chopsticks.

There was laughter and the dinner was calm, collected, like most dinners between them. At the end of the meal, Shizuru and her father stepped away for tea. Natsuki had no problem with hanging out with Shizuru’s mother.

“Is this a balcony or just windows?” Missus Fujino asked, motioning to the curtains at the windows.

“It opens to a little balcony, but we don’t have anything out there yet. I’m not sure anything could fit out there. Hell, me and Shizuru barely fit out there.” Natsuki laughed at the memory.

“She almost dropped you off the guardrail trying to screw you.”

Natsuki’s face burned up, even though she was used to Shizuru’s parents and the crazy things they seemed all right with saying. “She didn’t!” She did, but no one should say that aloud.

Shizuru’s mother chuckled. “Neither of you is subtle and you’re very much predictable, which is why getting this apartment together was a shock to me and her father.”

Natsuki’s face still burned, but now it was with shame. She ducked her head, needing to hide herself in someway. “That was my fault.”

Shizuru’s mother reached over and rubbed her shoulder. “No, it takes two in a relationship and no one is perfect.”

“Shizuru is pretty close,” Natsuki said and she meant that.

“You’re always too cute. I’m glad you’re so happy with Shizuru, but I’ve been warning her of her poor communication skills with you for years.”

Natsuki winced. “I wouldn’t say her communication was poor. She just let me hold onto what I knew because she was scared I’d run off. You know how skittish I am.”

“Again, it takes two. She should have spoken to you a long time ago about why you are so skittish. Instead, she lets her own fear rule her. I hope you two are getting better.”

Natsuki shrugged. “I like to think we are.” Their communication definitely was better now and they discussed so many things they never had before and were much better for it. Had they had some arguments? Yes, but in the end, even those brought them closer.

A small smile tugged at her lips. “Shizuru said things had finally moved forward with you both and you were on the same page.”

Natsuki nodded. “Yeah.”

“It’s all right. I don’t need details.”

That got a laugh. “You don’t _need_ them, but you _want_ them. Which one of them told you I tried to break up with her after overhearing them talk about marriage?”

Crimson eyes drifted to the smiling father and daughter. “Both of them.”

“Of course both of them. They are the same person.” Natsuki glanced over into the kitchen with their tea and their giggles and, yeah, totally the same person. She liked that about Shizuru and her father. Hell, she liked it about Shizuru and her mother, too. She wanted to have that kind of relationship with her own children. Someday. 

“Thankfully she’s also me or I’d have had to have another one and pregnancy did not suit me,” Shizuru’s mother said.

Natsuki smiled a bit, uncomfortable. She had seen pictures of Shizuru’s mother pregnant with Shizuru. Toward the end, Missus Fujino looked broken, stuck on bed rest and often sick throughout her pregnancy. Her tan skin, which had a glow to it now, was ashen and there were bags and lines under her eyes in pregnancy every photo Natsuki had seen. Misery did not seem to cover it. It was not that she was unhappy with carrying a child, but all of the changes to her body and the limits of what she could do as the pregnancy moved along. One day, Natsuki knew she would have to seek advice from Missus Fujino, as she felt like pregnancy would not suit her as well.

Shizuru’s mother glanced into the kitchen once more. “I also fear he might have strong genes, so a second child would have been him as well. Could you imagine? A household of that.” She made a face as if the idea did not appeal to her, but they both knew she would have doted on any number of children who resembled her husband.

“Is this a weird warning?” Since Shizuru’s mother knew about the conversation that almost sent Natsuki on the run yet again, she had to assume Shizuru’s mother knew children had come up, too.

Missus Fujino pressed her hands together and tapped her fingertips against each other. “Well, should you ever seriously consider children, be aware.”

Natsuki smiled. “I wouldn’t mind. My face might not survive all the blushing, but I wouldn’t mind.” She would take a dozen mini-Shizurus. She was not sure how she felt about giving birth to all of them, but she would not mind having them around.

Her mother nodded. “You’re a good one, Natsuki, and know that neither of us…” She motioned to herself and then to her husband. “Neither of us would have supported this relationship if we didn’t believe in you. You’re a good person.”

Natsuki sniffled as tears stung her eyes. They believed in her. They felt she was worth of their daughter. Damn it, why did the Fujinos know how to hit her right in the feels? They were possibly the only people on Earth who could make her cry.

“I always wanted her to be with someone better than me,” Natsuki said.

There was a small, sad smile, but Missus Fujino reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “For her, there is no one better than you and we support that. Maybe you don’t see it, but you’re doing well. You make her happy and she wants to have a family with you. You support her through so much and you’re always there for her. We trust you with her. So, we’re happy to see you take this step forward.”

Natsuki nodded, but ducked her head. “Thank you.”

Shizuru’s mother took mercy on her for once in her life and did not say anything in return. Natsuki sighed in relief. The rest of the time passed with relative ease. Well, beyond the triple dose of teasing Natsuki had to put up with, but that was expected. 

-8-8-8-8-

The room was dark, but Natsuki could not stop focusing on the spot where she knew the ring was on the dresser. Shizuru was wrapped around her, head resting on Natsuki’s shoulder. Natsuki had her arm around Shizuru’s shoulders. She should be asleep, but Natsuki suspected Shizuru knew she was awake and that would keep Shizuru awake.

“Did my parents say something to you?” Shizuru asked, fingers now drawing circles on Natsuki’s side.

“No… well, yeah, but it was good stuff. Your mom let me know they believe in me and they’re happy for us. So, that’s cool,” Natsuki replied, rubbing Shizuru’s back. 

“Oh, so she didn’t ask you when the babies are coming?”

Natsuki tensed briefly and then laughed. “Very funny.”

Shizuru snickered. “I’m being so serious. My father kept asking about when we’d have babies now that we’ve truly moved in together. There was wedding talk, too.” 

“Maybe you guys just shouldn’t drink tea anymore. Obviously it makes you both crazy and weird. It’s like your weirdo version of liquor.”

Shizuru chuckled and kissed her shoulder. “I thought you believed we were already crazy and weird.” 

“You guys are, but you’re all okay in my book.” Natsuki took a deep breath and caressed Shizuru’s back again. “I was looking at the ring.”

“I know.” 

“Your psychic abilities will come in handy if we do have a baby.” Natsuki shifted and held Shizuru’s hand and drew circles on it with her thumb.

“It only works with you, so we have to have a mini-you.” Shizuru kissed her neck. 

Natsuki smiled. “I wouldn’t mind, but having a mini-you around wouldn’t be so bad.”

Shizuru nodded. “Well, for either of those to happen, you would have to ask me.” 

“I know.” Natsuki did not think it was the right time. They had only just moved in together, started a real life together. She wanted to make sure she was in the right head space before asking a question she knew the answer to.

“Take your time, my love. You know I’m not going anywhere.” As if to prove her point, Shizuru snuggled closer. 

“Neither am I.” She put the ring out in the open to prove that. One day, she would feel comfortable with asking. For now, it was time to establish new routines and behaviors. “I love you, you know that, right?”

Shizuru snickered. “Of course I know. You’ve agreed several times to have babies with me, after all. I love you, too.” 

“It doesn’t come across that way when you say it while laughing.” Natsuki gave her a little pinch.

Shizuru yelped and bucked against her. “Well, it doesn’t come across that way when you pinch me!” 

Natsuki pinched her again, which was never a smart move since Shizuru knew all her weaknesses. She got one more pinch in before Shizuru attacked with the dreaded tickles. Tickling turned into kisses and then Shizuru was on top of her.

“I do love you,” Shizuru said. 

“Well, I will probably have your babies, so you should love me.” Natsuki chuckled and Shizuru silenced her with a kiss. Before things got too heated, Natsuki took one last glimpse at the ring. Yes, one day she would ask. One day soon.

-8-8-8-8-

The end.

Thanks for reading. I hope everyone enjoyed the story. Back to my padded cell with me. Thanks again. Hasta…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna see more of my fanfics, they're all at FFN under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fanfiction.net/~starvinglunatic). If you wanna see some original stories, you can look at FP under [StarvingLunatic](https://www.fictionpress.com/u/576301/).
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/SL-Kassidy-482097488469386/).


End file.
